The Giggling Grave
by Reylus
Summary: Have you ever watched an anime and said, I was promised a death game not a harem with a Gary Stew. Same. So here's a story about a guild that would give you what you wanted.


He looked down at the black headset he held between his hands, pondering if the game would be worth his time. It was just off the shelf so obviously it would have its flaws, but maybe it could get him a couple hours of entertainment before he had to return to the dullness of everyday life. He smoothly placed the headset and laid back, shifting so that the sunlight spilling through his window did not shine directly in his face. The digital clock read 1 pm.

Well. It's showtime.  
"Link start."

Rods of myriad colours rushed past his eyes, followed quickly by a system's check for his senses. After logging in he was quickly transported to the starting town for the game. He glanced around, impressed at the visuals. Everything looked incredibly realistic. He touched his hands, unnerved by the muted sensation he felt. He supposed it made sense, the game wouldn't make many sales if the players felt serious pain. He kicked the road beneath him, marvelling at the accuracy of the sound. This game could definitely buy him a couple hours of entertainment. That was enough fanboying though, if he wanted to get anything done he'd need to figure out how to play the game. He checked taverns and worried NPC's for any kind of tutorial. Half an hour was wasted like that.

"This game is not noob friendly." He said to himself.

He slipped between passers-by as he made his way to the town exit, if the game didn't teach him he'd find someone else to. He ventured to the forest north of the city a few players grinding on boars and wolves.

"Likely beta testers from how they were handling the monsters. He approached one after they had slain a monster.

"Afternoon." He greeted.

"Good afternoon." The player greeted back, lowering his stick weapon.

"PoH." He said simply raising his hand for a handshake.

"Grantz." The man answered taking the man's hand for a firm shake.

"Well Grantz, I'm a new player so I'm a bit confused as to how combat works here. I was wondering if I could get a few pointers from a beta tester."

Grantz smiled, the man was quite earnest.

"Sorry, I'm really busy, gotta grind up my sword skills, why don't you ask one of those other players."

"I would, but it doesn't make sense asking a subpar player. I saw you killing those monsters, that's the efficiency I want."  
Normally he would shoo away noobs as they took too much time, but this one seemed like he wouldn't be too time consuming.

"Sure. It's actually, really simple, the game does most of the work. You just make the starting motion, after you begin to swing the game takes over and guides your attack."

"Oh that is quite helpful. Thank you."

"If you're going to grind I suggest using a stick or something, weapons have a set durability."

"No it's fine, I plan to use daggers. I'll let you get back to your grinding."  
PoH walked to a less populated area of the forest.

He spent the next few hours killing boars and wolves. It seemed the game had an annoying way to level up abilities, repetition. He was in the middle of fighting yet another monster when the tall trees he had become accustomed to were replaced with the stone buildings of the town of beginnings. Looking around he noticed more and more people were being teleported.

"An event?" He asked himself aloud.

A very special event it seemed. Crimson hexagons spread across the orange sky, tinting it and the town red. The warning which was initially printed on the shapes changed to read system announcement, before blood poured from the point of connection of the shapes. The blood pooled and flowed to form a giant hooded man. Murmurs spread throughout the crowd.

"The game master."

"Hello players. Welcome to my world." The figure began.

"My name is Kayaba Akihiko, as of now I am the only one who can control this world." He spread his hands gesturing to essentially everything.

"I'm sure you know by now that the logout button is missing from the main menu."

What!  
PoH quickly opened his menu, ignoring whatever it is the GM was saying. Sure enough, no logout button anywhere. He had been so focused on grinding he had never actually checked the menu. After the short burst of panic, he refocused on the floating man.

"- feature of Sword Art Online."  
Kayaba explained that there was no way for the players to log out, and that if the Nervegear was removed by an outside force that the player would be killed. The scattered comments of the players took on a worried tone.

"You have to be joking."

Several unnerved players attempted to leave the plaza but were blocked by an invisible wall. Kayaba dropped another bombshell, there was no way to revive a player, and on top of that should your health bar reach 0, the Nervegear would fry your brain.  
"There is only one way to escape. Clear the game. You are currently on floor one, advance and beat the floor boss and you will advance to the next floor. Defeat the boss on the hundredth floor and you clear the game."

"Clear?" Several players asked confused.

It was a valid question. Clearing an RPG with no chance of revives, no healing and only close combat weapons. It's practically impossible. Kayaba had them all set up to die in here.

"Finally, I've added a present to your item storage."

The last thing PoH wanted to do was accept a present from this bastard, but surviving was more important than pride.  
He and every other player opened their menu to find a mirror appearing in their hand.  
In it he looked at PoH. Dark brown eyes stared back at him through locks of black hair. A youthful face was reflected. It was the face of someone you'd see anywhere-on the bus, on the street. After a flash of light that illuminated the entire clearing that face was soon replaced with the face of Vassago Casals. The short black hair had grown down to his shoulders, smoothed back out of his face. The rounded face was now sharp. A defined jaw jutted out and the previously nondescript face now bore a blue tattoo. A mark running from his forehead to his lips zigzagging haphazardly as it curved past the outside of his eye. He also bore a ring on his left eyebrow.  
The cheeky bastard. Kayaba forced him to wear his real face. This was supposed to be a break from the messy negotiations in his day to day life, and this desk worker took that from him.

He muffled a chuckle with his hand. He had to give it to the guy though, he had guts. He never thought a desk worker would have a pair, it's too bad he'd have to rip them off once he got out.  
Vassago checked his menu reviewing the stat points he had accumulated from grinding.

Kayaba was droning on about his goal or something, but Vassago figured he'd rather hear it as a dying confession.  
A sound of shattering glass broke his focus. He looked left to see an image he had acquainted himself with over the last couple hours. Shiny blue shards floated, the remains of a player. Another death sound effect went off, and another. Scores of players were reduced to glittering shards. Pandemonium ensued. Players stampeded, fleeing the floating remains as if death were some communicable disease. It was too loud, people were screaming, clutching at what used to be their friends, or family before they too died. PoH shoved whoever ran into him to the floor. It was pathetic really, it was obvious those players were unplugged and died. There was no need for this panic. He made his way to the outskirts of the town.

"Damn him. Locking me in here with these animals." He smoothed his hair back and sighed. "At least it's more interesting than outside."

His vision went black aside from a single word. Standby.  
"Damn it."


End file.
